One early evening on a usual routine I’m trying to set everyday (which is really hard for a lazy buddy like me), while me and my husband were preparing the bed for a goodnight sleep, I sighed exhaustively and said through the air how being a mother has been very difficult and tiring since day one.
Out of the blue, a good conversation turned to an argumentation then lately turned to be a realization:
-Husband: This is unfair!?
-Husband: Why is it that everyone else would consider that being a mother is the hardest job on earth? What about us, Fathers?
(Of course, I have to raise the flag for motherhood, so I reacted as if he has just broken a sacred rule.But I still manage to compose myself and explained to him matter-of-factually)
-Me: You don’t know how difficult it is to be a mother! At work, you have days-off that I don’t have, You can have a sick leave, that I still don’t have, you work 8-9hours a day with breaks and me? 24hours is never enough!
(And the rest of what I was trying to point out has been just kept in my head because he interrupted my dramatic explanation)
-Husband: We are working so hard and missing our wives and kids, we are missing every milestones and bonds that you mothers have.. You have all the chance to show your love and when our work is over, we try to get rid our exhaustion so that somehow we could still bond because we don’t wanna miss a responsibility for our kids and our wives…
(I heard every words he said but shrug it off and speak again)
-Me: Okay!!! Then let’s change positions. You’ll stay here at home and I’ll be the one working. You do what a mother do and hopefully that will give you the answers to all your questions. Sooner or Later you’ll realize why our job is the hardest.
Aside from those last words I have, I felt that I have so much more to say but in the end I just shut up because I noticed my husband never gave any sign of attempt to answer me back. Maybe he tried to pacify an upcoming world war 3. He is always like that. He is that type of guy who doesn’t talk back. I’m stubborn, I’m mean, I always prefer to be on the things that I know are right, but he is this guy who tries to accept every piece and bits of my not-so-good attitude.
Late that night, while everyone else were sleeping soundly, For which I was again wide awake (the usual night I have due to Insomnia), having random thoughts in my head, then I remembered the conversation my husband and I had earlier that Evening.
I just admitted within myself that I was harsh to my husband and never gave him a chance to really speak out. I felt guilty of how that conversation has ended. It was then I ask myself why? Why is it that they give mothers more importance than fathers (which is what I see in our community and what I believe). I never agreed somewhat to my husband that yeah, maybe It’s really unfair. Instead I reacted too much!
Let’s not forget that, being a father is so easy but being a good father who takes the responsibility is never that easy. A father is responsible in all aspects of a child’s life: protection, financial and emotions. He is responsible of not only to his child but also to the mother of his child.
I believe that my husband is a good father. From that day we found out that I was pregnant, he whole-kindheartedly accepted everything (though he was still studying then). He took the responsibility of being a father and stood up to became a man that until now I’m looking up to. He has been the most patient person I know. And until then I’ve realized that I never made a mistake in marrying and loving the right person and the right father for my baby. You are the Best Father babe!
Happy Father’s Day to the Coolest Papa! We love you! ❤